Why Do We Suffer If Everything Is Perfect?

Exploring the Paradox of Joy, Pain, and Oneness in a World of Separation

Image by Rudy and Peter Skitterians from Pixabay

I realize that life is perfect as it is. And yet, that is not an easily understood concept. It’s not something that can truly be put into words, because every precise word falls short. How do you describe the feeling of joy, unity, and suffering all at once? How do you express the paradox of knowing you are part of an absolute oneness, while simultaneously feeling the ache of separation?

“There is no path to happiness: happiness is the path.” – Buddha

This column is my attempt to explore that mystery—not to define it, but to reflect on it. To hold space for the paradox that life offers us: that we are always whole, even when we feel broken; always connected, even when we feel alone. Perhaps in this exploration, we find not answers, but a deeper sense of peace with the perfection of what is.

The Paradox of Absolute Oneness

There is a place that is not a place. A state that cannot be described in words, because words always pull us back into duality. The highest there is – absolute oneness – transcends everything we can understand. It is not oneness as our mind would define it, and yet we are it. We always have been.

In that absolute oneness, there is no separation, no “I” and no “other.” There is only an infinite being, beyond time, space, body, and form. And yet, as you read this, you probably feel what I feel: the paradox. Because although we are one with everything, we often experience ourselves as separate. We feel the boundaries of our body, the limitations of our thoughts, and the pain of our emotions. That feeling of separateness can be overwhelming, and yet… it is merely a shadow play, an illusion within the greater truth where everything is already connected.

There is no escaping that oneness. You cannot step out of it. Not even when you feel disconnected. Not even when you suffer. What appears separate is still an expression of the same oneness. The ego, the human experience, the suffering – it is all part of that one whole. And the miraculous thing is: you don’t need to do anything to be part of that oneness, because you already are it.

But how do you live with this paradox? How do you reconcile the knowing that you are inseparably part of the whole with the feeling of sometimes being alone, lost, or disconnected? Perhaps the answer is not to try to resolve this tension but simply to let it be. To accept that the experience of separateness is just as legitimate as the deep knowing of oneness. That both are true, simultaneously.

“Suffering is a gift. In it is hidden mercy.” – Rumi

The highest there is, absolute oneness, cannot be captured in concepts or ideas. It transcends even the notion of “oneness” itself. And yet, we are it – always, without exception. It is not a destination you can reach, because it is what you already are. Even now, in this moment.

Perhaps the greatest invitation is to stop searching for a oneness you can never lose. To embrace the mystery of existence – the tension between knowing and feeling, between being and experiencing. Because within that paradox lies a profound truth: everything is one, even the feeling that it is not.

And that, perhaps, is the highest there is.

Short Note

I’d like to invite you to explore my one-to-one coaching, where consciousness and meaningful conversations form the foundation of everything I do. Whether you’re an individual or part of an organization, my work is centered around guiding transformation and fostering spiritual alignment.

As your coach, mentor, or guide, I create a space for profound insight and clarity, helping you unlock new possibilities for growth and purpose. If my approach resonates with you, I encourage you to book a session. While true transformation unfolds over time, these conversations provide powerful breakthroughs and a clear path forward.

I’d be honored to support you on your journey and look forward to connecting with you.