The Unspoken Side of Giftedness
Why gifted people don’t talk about it—and what they truly need to thrive
There’s a lot written about giftedness, but you’ll rarely find books in stores written by someone who’s actually gifted—a true expert by experience. And honestly, this isn’t too surprising. Many gifted people simply don’t feel a need to talk or write about it. And there are a few reasons for that.
In conclusion, giftedness brings unique perspectives and challenges that aren’t always easily understood by others. For many gifted individuals, traditional support and guidance can feel disconnected, as they think deeply, process rapidly, and often solve their own issues mid-conversation. What they truly need is someone who can match their pace, respect their complexity, and engage with them on an equal level.
If you’re gifted and seeking help or advice, find someone who shares that same gifted insight. Look for a gifted mentor or coach—someone who understands the way your mind works. They’ll not only “get it” but will also challenge and support you in ways that feel natural, allowing you to explore your potential fully.
For one, giftedness is still often seen as something “elite,” which makes it awkward to discuss. For us, being gifted doesn’t feel special; it’s often just complicated. Once we understand something, we tend to move on to the next challenge. And if we’re still figuring it out, we’re usually not ready to share it.
Scientists like to analyze why we’re this way, but we gifted people “just get it” when we’re around each other. It’s a kind of unspoken understanding, though we often feel a need to rationalize it. There are plenty of professionals out there trying to “help” us fit in, but honestly, that world and ours often don’t line up. They see things differently because they’re not coming from the same place we are. If you ask me, they could save themselves (and us) a lot of frustration by letting us be.
It’s not that we don’t ask ourselves the same questions as anyone else. We do—only we dig deeper, ask broader questions, and tend to feel things more intensely. But typical guidance rarely has answers because it’s hard to understand where we’re coming from. A lot of the time, while a gifted person is talking, they’re already solving their own questions a few steps ahead—even if the counselor doesn’t realize it. It’s almost like gifted people let the therapist think they’ve helped, and to some degree, that’s true. But they’re usually solving the issue themselves along the way.
What we really need is a conversation partner who understands how our minds work, someone we can learn from and who can keep up with us. Only then can we fully be ourselves. There’s a comfort in talking to someone who’s not only ten steps ahead but also knows when to step in and challenge us when needed. Gifted people aren’t stubborn; we’re “self-wise,” and we’re open to advice from someone who’s truly on our side.
Like everyone, we have our own day-to-day struggles and traumas, but we tend to see them differently. We need insight into how things work and want to find solutions ourselves. And to do that well, we need someone who understands how we think and can meet us at our level. That’s where traditional support often falls short.
In the right hands, guidance can be more than helpful; it can be transformative.
Are you standing at a pivotal moment in your life? Whether you’re feeling uncertain about your next steps or eager to share your insights, remember: you are not alone!
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